you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
