Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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