when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
