The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize