allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
