tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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