I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
