also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Come share oat with me in your robe
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
