I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
