Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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