U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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