Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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