can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
