She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You did what with his pubic hair?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
