i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
