Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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