ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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