I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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