They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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