You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize