That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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