It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
