Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
