I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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