do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
