were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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