You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
