Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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