Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you inspire me to be a worse person
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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