JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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