Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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