Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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