he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
