How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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