What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
