Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
