first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
