Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
