i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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