your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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