i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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