Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
