i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am spending my child support on dildos
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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