ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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