My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
