So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
