i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
nutella sex= disaster
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
