We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
