My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
