I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
