ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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