She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
