I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
