...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
