We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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