dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
