out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
