I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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