so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
