I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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