...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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